Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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