worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
