I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry about my life...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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