you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
