when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
