Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize