What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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