Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
