ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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