ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
