Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
