I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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