At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
