I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
