I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
