she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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