those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
