When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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