A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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