Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
