dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
