The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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