Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
