i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
