NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
