Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
