I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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