You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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