I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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