He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
