Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
