I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
