I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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