cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
