i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
