Did you just see the Batmobile???
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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