I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize