I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
