I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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