Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
