I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just high enough for therapy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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