i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize