Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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