I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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