But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
