i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
