very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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