I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize