Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
