I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
