I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
