There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
