A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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