I wannas sexs uuuuu
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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