i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
