I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
